It’s been a long summer, longer than most. England’s meek yet satisfactory showing at the Euro’s seems like an age away (where was it again?) and while Team GB continue to collect medals left, right and centre – we have to ask ourselves, do we really give a shit? As of this weekend, football is back.
The Olympics has served its purpose, naturally, but we’ve been spoon-fed the bugger; it’s everywhere. As I find myself scanning the channels for handball and hockey, basically anything resembling two teams and a pair of nets – it becomes immediately obvious what I’m really yearning for: Jeff Stelling, betting slips, bovril, six pints and a ‘your support is fucking shit’, oh yes, I’ve even missed the mundane anthems of the moronic. I’ve missed Gary Neville for Jack’s sake, Gary bloody Neville. Saturdays, no wait, life – it just hasn’t been the same.
Not everyone’s as keen of course. In fact, there’ll be as many empty seats as groans inside Ewood Park this season. Last year’s relegation from the top-tier sees us playing Championship football for the first time in eleven years. Manager Steve Kean remains at the helm, in turn maintaining his status as public-enemy-number-one.
Our cunning Indian owners have brought in some Malaysian bloke wearing a pair of glasses from the local joke shop to improve communication, Shebby Singh swapping the TV Studio for a new role as Director of Global Football Advisor Operations to the Senate, or something like that. Shebby’s been a busy boy this summer, charming fans and journalists alike and in part, managing to keep Kean away from a microphone.
There have been other changes behind the scenes, but we don’t really care about those… yet. In the transfer market, Kean has spent most of the summer seducing Portugal’s youth over a case of Mateus rosé, following the impressive early captures of Danny Murphy and Leon Best.
Three-million-pound-man Best has since been ruled out for six months without kicking a competitive ball, leading to the protracted pursuit of Huddersfield’s Jordan Rhodes for £5m. Somewhere, somehow, there’s a suitcase of cash that’s been discovered.
Pre-season has been typically uninspiring, the highlight being the cancelled fixture in Holland last Sunday. Tricky winger Fábio Nunes has caught the eye, if you can pick him out amongst the twenty-six other Portuguese signings. Amongst them, veteran Nuno Gomes looks as if he will play a bigger role than initially expected, particularly in light of Best’s injury.
As far as expectations go, the only way is up – but that’s not saying much. Rovers supporters still have no idea what to expect come opening day. On one hand, the club has been active in the transfer market and thus far, only Yakubu and Hoilett have departed. Come the end of the month however, vultures may well have circled and chewed on the cut-price carcass of Premiership past. Robinson, Dann, Olsson (the good one), Nzonzi and Pedersen all look favourites to leave if that is the case.
On the other hand, Steve Kean is still in charge. It’s unfair to judge a team on pre-season, but it would have been a bold statement of intent to put a sequence of victories together and stick a few goals past lower-league season. Feeble defeats to Accrington Stanley and Rochdale have done little to whet the appetite and suggest that Kean can find a winning formula, learning from the team’s failings last time around.
On paper, both sides in fact, we have a strong squad – clearly one of the strongest in the division, but there’s no denying that there’s a bit of deadwood floating around. Last season’s fringe signings have been complemented with more fringe signings and while we have more attacking midfielders than you can shake a Carlos Villanueva at, nobody has much of an idea where, if or why.
Defensive cover remains our weakest link, amplifying concerns about the side’s defence in general. Olsson and Dann could still be sold and the bearded Givet remains an unsettled enigma. Even poster-boy Grant Hanley has been linked with pastures new.
Murphy and former Fulham team-mate Dickson Etuhu should reinvigorate the centre of midfield and the signing of a striking talisman remains key, with Goodwillie shielding himself from rotten fruit all summer.
Taking Rovers back up at the first attempt will be a bigger test than keeping them up in the first place and there remain serious doubts that Steve Kean is the man to do it.
In addition to being the most unpopular manager of all time, Kean has to contend with rebuilding team spirit after relegation, bedding in new signings and demonstrating that he has any clue whatsoever in setting a team up. The facts are that Steve Kean’s Blackburn aren’t accustomed to a winning habit and to avoid another disastrous campaign, that’s a trend that needs reversing; quickly.
The league itself is as capricious as the team. It’s about who will flop, as much as who will shock. Once more, the Championship is wide open. Nottingham Forest and Leicester were both expensive flops last season and expectations will continue to weigh heavy. The bookmakers make Owen Coyle’s Bolton favourites, who should feature, and logic tells you that Wolves will also be in the mix. Cardiff have been backed with funds, and another stab at Bellamy in return for a red kit, and it would be a major surprise if they aren’t at least in a play-off spot come May.
Leeds have been unusually quiet, but are likely to make a bit of noise, especially with Warnock in the hot-seat, while Birmingham look likely to target the play-offs with a similarly solid base; Lee Clark appearing a sound appointment for the Blues.
Brighton will be hoping to continue their ascent and become the new Blackpool, while the old Blackpool will still be capable of ruffling feathers as long as they hang on to Ian Holloway.
Middlesbrough showed a few glimpses last season and won’t be a pushover, along with Hull, who have appointed promotion specialist Steve Bruce to achieve their aims. Ipswich, Derby and B*rnl*y are all capable of flirting with the top-six and history tells us not to discount the three promoted teams from League One. As far as the Championship goes, ambition is in abundance.
So, how are Rovers going to do? Quite honestly, I have no idea and I suspect that most fans feel the same. How could we possibly? Blind optimism aside, they haven’t made a pair of blue and white tinted glasses large enough. We really are stepping into the unknown, with serious doubts hanging over the manager’s ability and the owners’ insistence on standing by their man. Many are still forecasting a doomsday scenario, casting grimacing glances at Portsmouth and Rangers. It could be that Venky’s have finally realised that they have to speculate to accumulate, or it could be one giant disastrous gamble – staking the lot on one season.
Danny Murphy should justify his earnings and it’s the image of him patrolling the midfield alone that allows for any real optimism. Many are expecting Murphy to really shine through at this level, me amongst them. Lose him to injury like Leon Best however, and it’s a different story.
The team’s style of play relied heavily on Yakubu’s firepower last season and Best seemed a perfect replacement, scoring a wonder-goal in the 2-1 friendly win over AEK Athens before suffering anterior cruciate ligament damage.
Rovers now have the task of replacing not one, but two strikers and if the tug-of-war with Rhodes fails to see him land on our side of the Pennines, then the pressure to panic-buy may became too much of a temptation. Until that role is filled, then expectation remains on ice. Either way, let’s get it on. Rowing, cycling and dressage my arse. We are the Rovers.
