Sad Ken: Putting the glamour into gambling

“If you can make one heap of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss”

It’s been hard week’s graft fer old Ken lads – med even sweeter for’t Rovers winnin’ ferra bloody change an’ nettin’ me fifty big ones fer rately predictin’ Liverpool, Chelsea, City an’t Rovers to get through’t ‘Weak as Piss Lager Cup’.

Tight-mouth Larry wun’t happy mind, handin’ over’t fifty sheets. He gave me’t look again, same one he gev us when he found out I’d been fettlin’ his lass.

I promptly went up tut Asda and spanked lot on three crates of Mackeson’s and two bottles of ski. Her indoors saw her arse mind, but bloody Gas bill can wait.

Anyways, enough prattlin’. Feelin’ lucky?

Remember Sad Ken’s motto: It’s bollock-deep or nowt!

Ken’s crystal bollock is predictin’t following this week:

CHEEKY COUPON PICKS

1) BIRMINGHAM Vs Brighton - EVNS

Birmingham have found their feet at last, taking time out from conquering Europe and remembering that league football is their bread and butter. They are second in the form table (17 points from their last 8 games), Brighton on the other hand, are second bottom (6 points from their last 8). Poyet’s charges outplayed West Ham in midweek, but still got bugger all for their efforts. Expect Birmingham’s experience and home advantage to shine through.

2) Hartlepool Vs CHARLTON - 6/5 

Hartlepool's great early season form has tailed off (losing 4 of their last 5 - 3 out of 3 home defeats).  Charlton's recent form has been impressive, winning their last 2 and scoring 6 in the process, and their away record is the best in the division: P8 W6 D1 L1. Victoria Park has claimed many a victim, but Charlton are a good bet to upset the monkey hangers.

3) Wycombe Vs SHEFF WED - 6/5 

Wycombe have lost their last 2, and 4 of their last 6.  They sit second from bottom having recorded only 1 victory from their 7 home games.  Sheffield Wednesday are third in the league courtesy of an impeccable home record (P7 W7).  Their away form has been patchy and this is an instinctive bet, but I'll back them to have too much for the Chairboys.

4) Aldershot Vs CREWE - 14/5 

I wouldn't usually touch Crewe Alex with yours; bet for and against them at your peril. However, Aldershot's recent league form has been poor, losing 5 out of their last 6. They ran themselves into the ground against Man Utd in midweek, which could be a factor.  Crewe have won 3 out of their last 4 away in the league and look overpriced at almost 3/1 against a side sitting 3 places below them in the division.

FOUR-FOLD ACCUMULATOR: 36/1 at William Hill
NB/ Treble it to death if you haven’t got the bollocks.


SOCCER SATURDAY SEVEN UP – Feeling lucky?

SUNDERLAND Vs. Aston Villa (Home win)
SWANSEA Vs. BOLTON (Draw)
WEST HAM Vs. Leicester (Home win)
BIRMINGHAM Vs. Brighton (Home win)
PRESTON Vs. Bournemouth (Home win)
SHEFF UTD Vs. Exeter (Home win)
CHELTENHAM Vs. Plymouth (Home win) 

SEVEN-FOLD ACCUMULATOR: 124/1 at Sky Bet


CHEEKY NAG: Time for Rupert (Charlie Hall Chase @ Wetherby / Saturday 15:20) 11/4.

Rate, that’ll do thee. A pint o' Badger's Arse is calling. Best cask in't tarn. 

All the best,
Sad Ken